So not sure this has happened to you but it has certainly happened to me – multiple times! My child wants to do one type of activity and I want my little angel (only on some occasions) to do a different activity – so what’s a mom to do?
Certainly not going to pretend I have all the answers, but I can relay anecdotes of what I have dealt with in the past with my own 3 kids and what may not have worked so well. I may have caused irreparable harm for which lifetime therapy will be required but again what’s a mom to do?
One instance in particular comes to mind where my son then 4 or 5 wanted to take guitar lessons. I was thrilled – musicality is something I always aspired to and would love my kids to play an instrument. I never did so more power to them. However, when I looked into it (without Activity Rocket so such a pain), I was told he was too young and I would be wasting my money. So I tried to steer him to another instrument – namely piano – so he could get started with his music career thinking he could then switch over to guitar when age appropriate. Felt like a great plan!
Well my son was not happy about it at all! A few bribes later, he agreed to try piano while waiting for his fingers to grow. To his credit, he stuck with it for almost a year. Then, BAM, out of the blue, “Mommy, piano is boring and I don’t want to do it anymore.” I figured his next sentence was going to be “when can I start guitar?” Wrong! Instead, I got “I don’t want to play any instrument, I just want to do sports.”
There it was. Lost any hope of going to the Grammys. No bribery going on this time to continue with piano or even switch over to guitar however prematurely. He was done! Boat had sailed on the musical promise never to be revisited.
So what should I have done? He wanted guitar. I wanted piano. We followed my plan and it backfired. Had I let him fiddle around with the guitar would he have kept his interest in being the next Bruce Springsteen? No way to know but doubtful. What I learned was our kids’ interests change – sometimes over years, sometimes over months, and sometimes overnight – and what they want versus what we want in the end is not likely to matter. I think if I had to do over I would have let him decide to try something that interested him regardless if practical. One never knows from where passion grows.
And That is The Activity Skinny.
Captain Lisa
FIND PIANO & GUITAR LESSONS ON ACTIVITY ROCKET!
Tags: activities, balance, children, family, parent
As parents we want to expose our children to so many new things, that sometimes bribery or gentle prodding is needed. Last spring I registered my daughter tball even though I knew it was not her first choice. I don’t want to be the type of Mom that forces activities or sports, but I wanted her to try a team sport at least once. The trophy at the end was the carrot we used to get her on board. She isn’t doing it again, but she had fun and had the experience of being on a team. I don’t regret it at all. Sometimes Mom does know best.
[...] classes for your children. The search engine is simple, yet impressive. On their blog today, I read The Activity Skinny from Captain Lisa: What’s a Mom to Do? about one mother who deterred her son from playing guitar in favor of piano, only to have it [...]
Thank you so much Tiny Steps Mommy! Keep on reading and spreading the word!